It was Mothers Day yesterday and I have to say I have mixed feelings about the day.

I adored my mum.
She used to say that “Mothers day should be every day”

It is with that thought in mind that I write this.

I’m not wanting to be a Debbie Downer, mothers absolutely deserve to be revered and celebrated.
Their role is steeped in personal sacrifice, from that first  precious act of giving you life under the most excruciating and undignified circumstances.

She then goes on to spend the next 20 odd years as the manager of the chaotic production that is your life.  

She assumes the roles of pacifier, personal chef, chauffeur, wash lady, negotiator, cheerleader, fashion police, career counselor, proofreader, keeper of secrets, and mender of broken hearts.

All with a level of sleep deprivation that would break the most hardened criminal.

The sad reality is that many of our mothers nurture our hopes and dreams
at the expense of their own.

When they arrive at the “empty nest” milestone, it’s not just the nest that is empty,
Often their relationship, resources and confidence are threadbare.

And as a result the cracks in our social fabric are appearing :
The rapidly growing rate of Australian Women over 50 facing homelessness says so.

Ironically, the thing your Mum fears most is being a burden on YOU.

While we can identify causes including the gender pay gap and patchy work histories.

I firmly believe that the problem goes deeper.
It is rooted in the motherhood mindset

Do you think for one minute if it was the men that produce the babies,
When they got back into the workforce.
They would tolerate a lower rate for the precious hours they worked??

There is a tiny glitch in our programming that has us not prioritizing our own needs and dreams, working on our financial future, fighting for our own rights or trusting our own judgment.

This is not something you can turn on, change is difficult.
It has to be cultivated over time When it comes to Mothers Day, honouring our mothers’ sacrifice is respectful.
But we have to do more If we are going to make any impact on the disgraceful statistics around our older women things need to change.

So along with that lovely bunch of flowers you deliver to your Mum,
make sure it is accompanied by a healthy dose of encouragement
to build her confidence, independence, home security and claim that full and inspiring life she deserves.